My favorite television program in 1979 was “The Incredible Hulk,” a show about a good guy who turns into a monster whenever he’s provoked to become angry. What six-year-old boy wouldn’t sympathize with that, especially when he’d been denied brownies before dinner?

So the request went out to Mom that I was to become The Hulk for Halloween. That morning, we prepared for some daytime trick-or-treating at Fairfield Bay’s Village Place Mall with me on the bathroom counter and Mom with a tube of green facepaint. Everything went well as she applied the make-up and then put the ripped shirt and wig on me. With her latest art creation finished, she turned me around to look at myself in the mirror.

And I immediately burst into tears and went trick-or-treating as a ghost instead.

As you can imagine, this story has only been retold somewhere between 500 and 2,000 times in the past 34 years. I’ve lived with the trauma, but as I’ve watched my own kids prepare for the Halloween season, I’ve wondered how their mother and I can help them enjoy the Halloween holiday without traumatizing them.

Sherry L. Pogue, a Licensed Associate Counselor at her practice Pogue Counseling in North Little Rock, says it’s during these pre-K years when children start forming the basis of their fears and phobias. This is a time to be very alert to those feelings.

So how do you teach a kid to be scared without…scaring them?

1. Ask Questions. When there are ghouls everywhere from the sidewalk to the TV, parents have to keep checking in on their kid. When you see that your child is frightened, ask them “Does that scare you? What scared you?” Identifying the feeling and talking about how to deal with the feeling helps children understand and process the fear while it’s happening. “The more you can make it not a real person or real thing helps them in differentiating,” says Pogue.

And make sure you ask the right questions. “Always say ‘what makes you scared?’” says Pogue. “Never use the word ‘why’ because their answer will always be ‘I don’t know.’”

2. Make a Monster. Children at this age get confused about what’s real and what isn’t. Sit down with them and draw a scary monster together. Be sure to add extra fangs even. When the two of you are finished, ask them a simple question: “Is this real?” This should help put things in perspective. “Now you can explain movies or animation,” says Pogue. “Just like you drew that picture, someone drew the pictures in ‘Monsters, Inc.’ Those are not real; they are pretend.”

3. Turn the Boo on You. They certainly know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a scare. Now, let them turn the tables on you. “Dare” them to scare you, and when they do, show them how it’s done. “Give them a chance to see how you’re going to react and deal with it,” says Pogue. “Therefore, you’re modeling for them.”

Your kids are modeling themselves after you? Now there’s a truly scary thought.