Three Generations: The Crucial Role of Grandparents in Jennifer Pyron's Family
Gail Lumet Buckley, author and daughter of the late singer/actress Lena Horne, once said, “Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future.” You can take one look at Charles Pyron, Jr., 13, Tandy Cobb, 68, Jennifer Pyron, 42, and Emily Pyron, 10, and know there’s a strong connection. Their family resemblance is eclipsed though by their care for one another and deeply rooted, multi-generational ties.
We recently invited former Little Rock Family Editor Jennifer Pyron to help us celebrate Grandparent’s Day with a story about her family. Jennifer is now the Director of Communications and Strategy for Arkansas Children’s Hospital. She shares in her own words how her family relationships have evolved over the years.
“My brother Graham and I grew up in Little Rock. My parents, Bill and Tandy Cobb raised us to think for ourselves, gave us room to make mistakes and encouraged us to dream big when it came to college and careers.”
“My mother is a bit of an educational rock star! If you grew up in the Little Rock and you’re under the age of 42, chances are you had her for English. She spent 15 years at Little Rock Central High before moving over to Episcopal Collegiate School. I currently work with two of her former students and am always so proud to hear, ‘Your mom was my favorite teacher!’”
“When I was growing up, my father and mother both served on community and nonprofit boards. Dad was an instrumental member of the Elizabeth Mitchell Children’s Center board, and the Red Cross board. He recently wrapped up service on the Little Rock Parks & Recreation board, so he’s still at it. Mom was on the committee that launched Riverfest and was president of the Arkansas Symphony Orchestra Guild. From them, I inherited my sense of civic duty. Mission is incredibly important to me. I have to believe that the work I do every day is making a difference, which is why I’m so happy to be at ACH.”
“My parents divorced when I was in high school and my husband Charles’ parents divorced when he was in elementary school. We both grew up with completely different parenting models and ‘rules’ than the ones we use now. We are not helicopter parents! In fact, we sometimes border on free-range parents, which I think makes my mom a little nervous! We want our children to feel safe, but have room to roam; we want them to value hard work, so we let them make mistakes and learn from them; and we try really hard to be their parents instead of their friends. It’s a balancing act.”
“Our son Charles, 13, looks exactly like his father but has my temperament and disposition. Despite his love of all things sports, he also loves to read. Emily is my little mini-me. She is a lot like her father in terms of personality, but she shares my love of theatre and singing. I’m having a great time living vicariously through her as she explores acting and voice lessons.”
“I think grand-parenting is so different today than it was when I was growing up. My grandparents were retired by the time I was in middle school, so when we visited them, we got their undivided attention. Both of my parents are still working. So that cuts down on the amount of time we spend with them. But mom is great about helping in the summer when she’s out of school and finding fun things to do with them on weekends. She and Emily have a special time once a month to go for manicures. She brings Charles, Jr. home from school almost every day, so they have frequent conversations about school, sports, friends, and life in general.”
Always at Home
“When our children were born, we lived in Montgomery, Alabama. My parents both came almost immediately to meet them and to visit. It was a God-send to have them there.”
“When Emily was 15 months old, she began having seizures. Her pediatrician ordered an emergency MRI, which showed a large tumor in her brain. My parents went into overdrive, literally. Over the next year and a half, they burned up the 8-hour stretch of road between Little Rock and Montgomery, helping take care of Charles Jr. while my husband and I took Emily to appointments and stayed with her in the hospital through two rounds of brain surgery. Charles Jr. spent several weeks in Little Rock while Emily was in the hospital, going back and forth between my dad’s house and my mom’s house. I’m not sure what we would have done without them.”
“When we moved back to Little Rock in 2006, the kids and I lived with mom for three months while my husband closed up shop and sold the house in Alabama. That was an amazing sacrifice on her part and it was such a big help. “
“Now that the children are older, mom helps with transportation when she can. And she’ll still keep them overnight if my husband and I need a night out!”
“One thing I’ve learned is that you can’t manufacture a relationship between your parents and your children. It’s my job to remain flexible and try to find opportunities for my children to see my parents, but it’s up to my parents to build those relationships.”
“Since our children are growing up with two sets of divorced grandparents, holidays and special events can sometimes be tense and hectic. Over the years, we’ve tried to find ways to slow down and calm down in order to better enjoy family time. That may mean opening Christmas presents on Dec. 23 or eating turkey together on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Flexibility is key, but it’s often hard in today’s overscheduled world.”
“Ultimately, we moved back to Little Rock because there’s no substitute for family. I wanted my children to be in the same city as their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. My children know they are loved by many adults who would do anything for them. It’s a great feeling for all of us.”