It is estimated that babies go through nearly 4,000 diapers before they are potty-trained. After 4,000 changing sessions, most moms and dads long for the day when it comes to an end. But your eagerness doesn’t necessarily mean your tyke is ready to transition to the big girl potty.

The potty training process often includes roadblocks and setbacks, which can easily discourage an anxious caregiver. Dr. Nick Long, Director of Arkansas Children’s Hospital’s Dennis Developmental Center, explains the most common obstacles and how to overcome them.

No Interest in Potty Training

First, is the child really ready for potty training? Each child is different and perhaps your child just needs a little more time.

Another possibility is that parents are putting a lot of pressure on the child and the child is resisting that pressure. When this happens, it often helps if the parents back off from toilet training for a month or so. When all the pressure is off, many children express an interest on their own.

Another reason for lack of interest may be that toilet time simply isn’t fun enough. Make sure toilet training is fun. Let children help choose and decorate their own potties (e.g., put stickers on them). Parents should focus on using a lot of encouragement and praise (and maintaining their senses of humor). Don’t show frustration. It is hard for children to go on the potty when they are under a lot of stress. Also, parents should not shame their children or you risk turning toilet training into a power struggle. If you do, you will lose.

Child Won’t Poop in the Potty

Children often learn to urinate in the potty before they learn to have bowel movements in the potty. Parents can help set their children up for success by making sure that their children’s feet can rest firmly on the floor or a stool (this is important as it allows children use the muscles in their legs to help have bowel movements).

Also, parents can have children sit on the potty for a short time (no more than a couple of minutes) soon after each meal. These are times they may be most likely to have bowel movements. The understanding should be that this is an opportunity for a bowel movement, not that one is expected. Read stories, sing songs and make sure this is a fun time and not a chore. If the child has a bowel movement, parents should make a big deal about it. If they don’t, let them move on to other activities. Don’t nag or express concern that they didn’t have a bowel movement.

As part of the toilet training, when children poop in their pull-ups, parents can let them help empty the poop into the potty while saying something like “poop goes in the potty.”

Child is Potty Trained, Then Regresses

It often takes a couple of months of consistent toilet training before children have fully learned daytime bladder control. If a child stops using the potty after this period of time, it may be necessary to re-institute the toilet training procedures. Although some sporadic regression is normal, it is also recommended that the child’s primary care provider be contacted. If they’ve mastered control for a long time, you’ll want to rule out any possible medical conditions.

Sometimes, a child may also regress after a younger sibling is born. Parents should be sure to pay special attention to the older sibling and explain the things that child is capable of doing that the baby is not. Praise your child for being a big boy or big girl who can use the potty.