Remember the good ol’ days when you wanted to go out or gab with a friend? You dialed their number on your parents’ old landline? Or you simply just made plans when passing notes in class? Well, that’s out the door, almost.

These days, social media—Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, Pinterest and various other websites—can be accessed on laptops, tablet computers and smart phones, making it easier and faster to connect to friends than ever before. It’s almost a full-time job for parents to keep their young ones in check online, especially with the many dangers out in cyberspace.

“Some of these dangers people tend to think about for teens and tweens on social media are cyber-bullying, sexting and exposure to inappropriate content,” says Nancy Gifford, project manager for the Family Online Safety Institute in Washington D.C.

There is good news though. “While [these dangers] can, and do exist, recent research shows that this happens less than previously assumed,” she says. In fact, according to the report “Teens, Kindness and Cruelty on Social Network Sites” by Pew Internet, a project of the Pew Research Center, most of the 77% of all teens surveyed who use social media say their experience is that people their age are mostly kind to one another on social media network sites.

Much can be contributed to parents keeping the conversation open with their children about online behavior and social media use, Gifford says. “It’s important to develop the parental controls in your kids’ minds by having conversations about tech use and social media, modeling the behavior you expect to see and not overreacting when a problem does occur.”

Parents don’t have to be social media experts to stay in-the-know about their kids’ behavior online. Mindy Barranco of North Little Rock states, “Our eight-year-old daughter and eleven year old son are both on Instagram, a social media app where users can snap a picture, choose a cool filter to transform its look and feel, and post it to their feed.” Barranco didn’t have an account on the picture app until her son wanted to join. Now she frequently checks her feed, keeping a watchful eye on pictures her kids are posting and seeing.

Now as avid users, her children have their accounts set on private where someone has to request to follow their feed. If it’s a person they don’t know, there’s no accepting. Period. “There are so many more opportunities for stuff to happen these days with all of this [technology],” Barranco adds. “It’s a whole new world.”

Instagram is just one of many apps used by children and teens. MySpace and Facebook are really the sites that started the social media craze. Parents can connect with friends and family, in and out of town, but they’re able to keep tabs on their kiddos who are on there as well.

This includes Dana Meyer, who is “friends” with her kids Sydney, 17, and Tanner, 14, on the social media site. While the Conway resident does give the teens a little bit of freedom while they navigate the social intricacies of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, she still does frequent checks of their posts. “They know the dangers of being online,” she says, “but I make sure I bring things that are [questionable] to their attention if they do come up.”

Also to keep things in check, in addition to being “friends,” some parents make sure they have the password to their kids’ accounts. A good example is Kellie Wall and her husband, whose 16-year-old daughter signed up for her Facebook profile when she was 13 years old—the minimum age allowed on the site. The password is in their possession and everything is laid out on the table from the get-go. “We have a basic understanding as a family that there are responsibilities and guidelines surrounding the privilege of having a Facebook account,” Wall says. “Our daughter knows that we can look at her page at any time. We do not do this as a lack of respect for her privacy, but as a way to monitor her social media in concerns for her well-being and safety.”

Ultimately it’s about keeping that conversation alive and well. Gifford recommends parents ask their children to show them what they are doing online or having them teach a tech skill—anything from how to use emoticons on a phone to setting up a Google+ hangout with the family, or making a family photo album on Instagram. Gifford concludes, “by being the teacher, youth can learn to improve their own skills and help think through the consequences of their online actions.”

Social Media Know-How
according to Nancy Gifford

  • Understand what social media and technology do and have to offer, including positive opportunities for learning, sharing and doing good.
  • Have a conversation about how you can use social media appropriately, responsibly and joyfully in your family.
  • Don’t block teens’ access to social media sites on a home computer. Teens will likely find a way around them or access them from school or friends’ computers or mobiles.