Let’s say you are walking down a grassy path you have trod over the years on the way to a friend’s house. On this particular day the ground is especially wet from an overnight rain. You think you’re traveling on solid ground when all of a sudden your shoe gets sucked right off your foot and is stuck firmly in the mud. After fishing your shoe out of the slurpy muck, you can see your shoe’s impression. This happens several more times during your trek. The next day there are ruts left by your shoes. You trip along the path stepping where you have so many times, but this time your steps are clumsy and slowed by the uneven ground. You even fall a time or two after hanging a toe on the dried mud clumps.

Sometimes the challenges of parenting can bog you down just like that gooey mud. You settle into a familiar routine that may or may NOT be beneficial or healthy. A routine is a set of actions at regular intervals that relate to an established procedure. Routines aren’t necessarily bad, because they provide structure and accountability. For example: going to the doctor for regular check-ups, or setting a morning schedule to get ready for work or school on time.

A rut, however, is a sunken track or groove made by repeated passage or a fixed, usually boring, routine. Does that sound familiar? A rut is made when a routine in your life occurs habitually—without a second thought about whether the action works for you and your family or not.

Many factors contribute to families settling into unhealthy ruts such as hectic work, school and activity schedules, lack of sleep or downtime, financial or health strains, and bad habits. There is a common and serious thread between these contributing factors and those relating to depression.

Although anyone can become depressed, according to the Mayo Clinic about twice as many women experience depression compared to men. One in 8 women develops depression some time in her life, most commonly between the ages of 25 and 44. Hormonal changes and biological variables compound typical risk factors.

According to Regroup Therapy, a postpartum depression online video support group, 15-20% of all childbearing women experience postpartum depression. For cultural, familial and societal reasons, many women never discuss their feelings, making them feel more isolated and worsening the condition.

Whether you and/or your family are in a rut or if there is a risk of depression, there are several healthy actions that can be taken to help the situation. Psychology Today suggests it takes roughly 25 days to adopt a new habit. Remind yourself it took time get into the rut, and it will take effort, cooperation and determination to get out of it.

EIGHT STEPS TO CLIMBING OUT OF THE RUT

1. Muster up the will to get out of the rut.
2. According to Steve from Blue’s Clues, “Stop, breathe, and think!” Evaluate and establish a clear understanding of the situation.
3. “One step at a time” should be your new mantra. Break tasks into smaller, more manageable ones and spread them out over time.
4. Identify each family member’s perspectives and priorities.
5. Make a manageable plan. Involve all key stakeholders in this process.  
6. Monitor whether the plan is working. Adjust when it is not.
7. Take good care of yourself.
8. Seek assistance from a mental health professional, parent educator or other appropriate professional. Remember, it is a very healthy step to ask for help!