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Stephanie and Travis Donald of Sherwood see the world differently. Where most parents see a playground or a baseball field, the Donalds notice sidewalks that are not wheelchair accessible and loud crowds that might upset their son Tyson, who was born with severe developmental delays. Life’s a little different for this family, but that’s just their reality … and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stephanie’s pregnancy with twin boys was uneventful until she went in for an ultrasound at 26 weeks.

The technician noted that her amniotic fluid had decreased. Stephanie was referred immediately to the UAMS High Risk Pregnancy Clinic, where Dr. Paul Wendel diagnosed the problem as Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, a serious complication in which the blood supplies of twin fetuses become connected, so that they share blood circulation. Typically, blood is transferred disproportionately from one twin (the donor) to the other (the recipient).

Stephanie was admitted to UAMS that same day and given steroids to develop the babies’ lungs in an effort to buy the twins two more weeks. It only bought them six days. Tyler and Tyson were born Oct. 23, 2006, at 27 weeks. Tyler, the donor twin, was smaller, weighing in at 1 pound, 6 ounces. Tyson, the recipient, was slightly larger, at 1 pound 14 ounces, but his medical issues were severe.

“You would think that the smaller twin would be the one who’d be sicker,” said Travis. “But Tyler came out kicking, screaming ready to go. All he needed to do was grow. Tyson came out with two brain bleeds and very critical needs.”

Three days later, Stephanie was discharged from the hospital, at which point “we were told to start making funeral arrangements for Tyson,” she said. But when Stephanie and Travis returned to the hospital that same afternoon, the doctors reported that Tyson was doing better than they initially thought. Tyler, however, had a hole in his heart that needed mending. Both twins were transferred to Arkansas Children’s Hospital so Tyler could have heart surgery.

“Those first few days, we were just numb,” said Travis. “But Children’s Hospital was incredible. We spent the next three months there. Tyler’s heart defect was treated with medication. It was actually Tyson that ended up with surgery. But they were both home by the middle of January.”

Rising to the Challenge

Once they were home, the twins didn’t leave the house for anything but doctor’s appointments until they were six months old. Stephanie began looking for a childcare facility that could provide the daily physical, speech and occupational therapy that both children needed. She found Helping Hand Children’s Center in North Little Rock, and the boys started school there when they were 10 months old.

“It was the answer to our prayers,” she said. “They take such good care of all the babies there. They have a genuine interest and love for what they do and it really shows.”

By age 3, Tyler tested out of therapy and was ready to leave Helping Hand. He now attends pre-K at Clinton Elementary School. He loves books, toys and playing learning games on his iPod Touch. And he adores his brother.

“They have a bond that defies logic,” said Stephanie. “Tyler is the best brother ever. You’re not going to do for Tyler and not do for Tyson. He is super protective of Tyson and looks after him. And he’s the only one in the house who can really translate Tyson’s language.”

While Tyler is a typical four-year-old, Tyson’s developmental delays are severe. He can’t speak. He’s legally blind due to nerve damage, although he can see parts of things, “as if he were looking through Swiss cheese,” Stephanie explained. He is also confined to a wheelchair and has a mic-key feeding tube.

The Donald family has had to adjust expectations and their lifestyle to accommodate Tyson’s needs. “It’s been an emotional struggle more than anything,” said Stephanie.

“The first two years, it was a big strain on our marriage,” confessed Travis. “Stephanie is a phenomenal mom. She continued working as a classroom teacher and going to school to get her master’s once the twins were born. She handles everything so well. Having Tyson made me really look at my priorities. I struggled with selfishness. My advice to parents with children with special needs is the sooner you accept that this is your reality, the better.”

Today, life is all about the boys. Stephanie and Travis had the carpet removed from their house to make it wheelchair friendly. They’re currently thinking about a new car that will accommodate their needs as Tyson grows, and they choose their family outings carefully so that Tyson can be a part of the majority of them.

“He’s sensitive to loud noises, so ballgames are out,” said Travis. “Sometimes we will leave him with a sitter so Tyler can go to the game, but not often. We’re planning a trip to Morgan’s Wonderland in Texas in the future so that both boys can have a theme park experience. It’s a balance finding things we can all do together, but it’s not impossible.”

Travis continues to struggle with reactions of strangers and acquaintances upon seeing Tyson. “I don’t respond well to stares and questions,” he explained. “Stephanie reminds me all the time that most people aren’t used to children in wheelchairs, but it’s my reality. I see it every day. When people ask me what’s wrong with him, I want to say, ‘Nothing. He’s exactly as God intended him to be.’ I just have to get over taking it personally.”

Stephanie is more comfortable with the questions.”I would rather a child ask me about Tyson than just stare,” she said. “Kids are curious. I know they’re going to want to know what’s going on with him, and we can use that as a teaching tool about accepting differences.”

Counting the Blessings

Despite, the challenges of raising a child with severe special needs, Travis and Stephanie feel blessed.

“[As a parent] you want so much more for him, and you wish he wasn’t in this situation, but this is the only reality you know,” said Travis. “People look at us and wonder how we do it.”

“It’s your baby,” said Stephanie. “There’s no option. You just do it!”

“[Tyson] is a very happy boy,” continued Travis. “He doesn’t pick up on our stress or bad moods. Between our family, our extended church family, our friends, the staff at Helping Hand … the child is just spoiled rotten. He doesn’t stand a chance!”

“We’ve been blessed to have this child,” he said. “This is a child who will never tell me he loves me. He’ll never hug me. But he makes me smile and laugh every day. He’s taught me how to love unconditionally.”