When it comes to adoption, different families adopt in many different ways. Some adopt from a certain country, through foster care or through private adoption, while other families adopt infants, teenagers, or sibling groups. Our family, however, adopts children with special needs.

Our faith, along with my degree in special education, led us on this amazing journey. My husband Larry and I have two boys, who were 10 and 7 when we started to seriously consider adding to our family. They were both accustomed to people with disabilities of all sorts, and they were very excited to get a new sibling regardless of their physical or intellectual abilities.

Finding Our Oksana

While doing some research on special needs adoption, we came across the website of a ministry called Reece’s Rainbow. Reece's Rainbow was started to promote the international adoption of children with Down Syndrome and has expanded to include children with many other disabilities. In many of these countries, children with special needs are viewed as outcasts with no ability to learn or be functional members of society. They languish in mental institutions, hidden away from the world in shame.

As we looked through the photo listing of waiting children, the face of a little girl came up that took our breath away. We learned right away that she was 4 years old and had Cerebral Palsy. After contacting Reece’s Rainbow for more information, we learned that she was in Ukraine and were sent more pictures of her.

While we prayed about committing to adopt this little girl, we did more research and found the blog of a family that had recently returned from adopting their daughter from the same orphanage. They had met this girl so we contacted them to ask more about her. Through this family we learned that her name was Oksana and that the orphanage was beginning to discuss her transfer to a mental institution. They were simply out of room for her. It was then that we knew she was supposed to be ours.

Going the Distance

We began the process to bring Oksana home in January, and traveled to Ukraine in June. During that time Oksana turned 5 and we grew more and more anxious to bring her home. On June 13, we landed in Kiev, Ukraine. Three days later we met our daughter for the first time. She was amazing. We learned that her Cerebral Palsy only affected her legs, and that while she was currently unable to walk, they had no doubt that with therapy she would walk. We only got 15 minutes with her before they took her for a nap and asked us if we wanted to move forward with the adoption. Of course we did!

After that we had the opportunity to meet with her for about two hours daily. It was in that time that we learned the extent of her delays. Physically she was exactly what we had expected, but her cognitive and emotional delays were far beyond what we had expected. At best she was developmentally at the level of a toddler, and she had some disturbing institutional behaviors.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that we had days where our visits with her caused us to wonder if we were doing the right thing. It certainly didn’t help that we were in a foreign country and missed our boys back home like crazy. Despite our fears, we knew that she was the child that the Lord had chosen for our family. We just kept telling ourselves that when she got home it would be better. After six weeks in Ukraine, we finally landed back on U.S. soil.

Adjusting at Home

Our first couple of months back home were rough. Oksana was mourning the orphanage. While we might think that sounds crazy, it was the only life she knew, and after five years in the same four walls, she was absolutely petrified. This showed itself through long temper tantrums, fears of everything from the bath to the stroller, and biting and scratching herself. She was angry, she was sad, and she was scared. Little by little though, we began to see signs that she was beginning to trust us. Fears started disappearing, temper tantrums started decreasing in frequency and intensity, and more than anything, we started to see something we hadn’t seen before??•joy.

While she healed emotionally, Oksana was also making amazing strides physically. In just five months, she went from never walking, to using a walker and then to walking independently! When we met her, she didn’t even know what to do with a crayon. Now, she is learning to write letters. The language barrier is gone now and although she has a speech delay her communication is exploding. She is still significantly delayed in all areas but her progress has been astounding.

Our Happy Family

Oksana has brought such joy to our lives. Our boys adore her, and she needs to know where her big brothers are at all times. They are her best buddies. If you ever meet her she’ll proudly tell you that she has a mommy, daddy and brothers before she declares, “No more orphanage!”

The other day, while we were playing outside, she was at the top of the slide on her swing set when the wind started blowing. She closed her eyes as it blew her hair back, enjoying that simple pleasure. Then she looked at me, smiled, and said, “It’s windy!” and proceeded to fly down the slide. That was one of those moments that made me stop and wonder where she would be right now if she hadn’t joined our family.

She is quite literally a different child now, but while her changes are obvious, it’s the changes in the rest of us that have amazed me the most. Adopting a child with special needs has been such a blessing that we can’t possibly stop with one. We have grown as a family, and we have become stronger as a unit and as individuals. We have learned how to love in a whole new way, and we have had the blessing of seeing our boys adore this former orphan as if she had been a part of our family forever.