They say the holidays are for children, but what may seem like harmless tokens of the season can all play a role in throwing off the family routine. Dr. Maya Lopez, developmental and behavioral pediatrician with Arkansas Children’s Hospital, suggests the following to help make the holidays joyful and fun for all kids.

1€Š. Start early

The key to acclimating children for holiday disruptions is to prep them beforehand. If they are headed to visit a relative they rarely see, take the time to “introduce” them well before they get there.

“There’s a technique that we use called social story; it is almost like a role play where you’re practicing what situations look like,” Lopez said. “You can show the child pictures and say, ‘Your grandma saw you when you were a baby; she gave you your rocking horse that you have.”’

2. Provide safe places

Overstimulation, noise and crowds are typical during the holidays and can easily overwhelm a child. Lopez suggested providing a “retreat space” wherever possible; a quiet space away from other people and activities where a child who’s beginning to feel anxious can go to calm down.

3. Santa can be scary

Lopez said social story techniques particularly apply to visiting Santa — pointing out where he’ll be sitting at the mall or going over the concept of St. Nick in storybooks prior to the big visit. Also, remember to be flexible.

“A lot of families take their children to see Santa and it sometimes happens that the child freaks out. It can happen to any child, not just a child with disabilities,” Lopez said. “If things don’t work, things don’t work; have a Plan B and move on.”

4. Ask for accommodation

Holiday programs sponsored by a house of worship or school may bring out stage fright or aggravate sensitivity to bright lights and amplified sound. A simple request not to shine a spotlight at a child or turn the volume of the sound system down can often help ease some of the stress, Lopez said. Earplugs can help the child, too.

5. Clue relatives in

Well-meaning but ill-timed gestures like big hugs and loud greetings can sometimes get a visit off on the wrong foot. Clue relatives in on how to interact with the child in a way he or she is comfortable.

“When you have family coming over or you’re getting ready to go see your family, it’s a happy time but it also brings a certain kind of tension,” Lopez said. “A change in schedule, new people entering the environment or children entering a new environment can really be hard for children with disabilities.”

6. Use the buddy system

Taking a special needs child to the mall requires practice and advance planning both for the overstimulation and to provide for the child’s safety, particularly if the child has difficulty seeking help or verbalizing in the event of becoming separated.

“Bring a friend with you while you are shopping so there’s always one person tending to the child,” Lopez said. “Some people don’t like for kids to have a harness, but sometimes that may be reality in order not to lose track of a child, especially if that child doesn’t know how to ask for help.”

7. Plan ahead for trips

Don’t overlook the stress travel poses to a child with special needs. Airports are noisy, crowded places and while the confines of the family car may be familiar, the effect of long rides should be accounted for.

“It is always good for the child to have an idea of what is going to happen (at) a relative’s house and what to expect once we (get) there,” Lopez said. “Going through the whole trip in your mind, you can often identify the sort of problems that could arise in flights or on long rides.”

8. Advise people how to give

It’s generally a good idea to provide guidance to friends and family to help them buy appropriate gifts. It also gives you the opportunity to think beyond mere toys to items that can help the child’s development in meaningful and lasting ways.

“Perhaps the child really needs more sessions with other kids or a walker safety class or something similar, so perhaps a gift card to a class like that will be a better gift in the long run,” Lopez said.

9. Make opening gifts enjoyable for everyone

The happy chaos of opening gifts can be upsetting for children used to quiet and order. Or, it might take a while for them to catch on to what to do. Read your child’s body language for clues on if he or she is struggling to take everything in, particularly if there are other children in the house.

“You can allow the child to open their gifts first or last,” said Lopez. “Use your retreat area as needed, where the child can get a little further from the melee.”

10. Holiday meltdowns happen — it’s OK

The holidays can be overwhelming for any child (and a lot of adults, too) thus it’s natural that the occasional meltdown can and will happen. Do you best to stay calm and take things as they come.

“Anything can trigger a child no matter what,” Lopez said. “It’s about knowing your child really well and reading their cues and their nonverbal communication.”