One in 68 U.S. children has an autism spectrum disorder. That’s a whole lot of parents feeling misunderstood and alone. Here’s what these parents want you to know.

Autism isn’t one size fits all.

Nicole Ramage says, “It’s important to know that it is a spectrum disorder. Just because one child is nonverbal and low functioning doesn’t mean they all are.” She adds, “And every child isn’t ‘Rainman’ either.”

Lindsay Crapo explains a common misconception is that people with autism have a hard time with feeling and emotions. In her son’s case, it isn’t that he lacks the ability to feel, but that constantly feels every emotion at once. “The difficulty lies in separating them,” she says.

Daily life is challenging.

Kelley Bravener says routine is essential. Planning for a simple trip to the grocery store often takes longer than the actual errand. Crowds, unfamiliar people, transition, changes and new places are all triggers. Another part of day-to-day life is the near constant battle with insurance companies and school districts to obtain the services to which a child is entitled. Keeping a child safe from wandering off or hurting himself is a never-ending worry. Basically, all of this is exhausting.

Their parenting choices are constantly judged.

Because their child’s special needs are invisible, many parents of children with autism feel judged when their child has a public meltdown or exhibits behavior others find unusual. Amanda Larson has had strangers comment on her allowing her daughter to play with electronic devices during dinner at a restaurant; however, it is a survival tactic so the rest of the family is able to enjoy the meal. The constant judgment can be tiring even to those parents with the thickest skin.

They are desperate for a place fit in.

Kathy Peterson is relieved to have finally found a place her family feels safe, loved and appreciated. They searched for a long time for a community where her teenage son could be himself and feel included without being expected to act like all the other kids. They’ve never found that environment with a school setting, but they did find it at church. Jennie Skrobisz advises to listen when a child with autism speaks “because it will likely be profound.”

They can love their child, but hate autism...or they may see it as a gift.

Michael Shelah says, “I love my son with all my heart and if you told me we could remove his autism and let him have a typical life, but it would require violently ripping off my arm, I’d do it. I love my son and hate autism.”

Rachel Vogelsong has a different point of you view: “I don’t need my child to be fixed or cured. It’s my job as his mom to help him find ways to make the world make sense for him. His unique perspective is a blessing.”

So how can you help these parents? Start by bringing them a cup of coffee and a muffin. Then, ask what you can do.

Mark Your Calendar

Walk Now for Autism Speaks at the Clinton Presidential Center
Oct. 18, 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

This signature event for Autism Speaks generates funds for autism research, raises awareness and connects local families. There is no fee to walk in the event, but each participant who raises at least $150 will receive a commemorative t-shirt. The one-mile family fun walk begins at 10:25 a.m. This year, runners can also participate in the 2nd Annual Arkansas 5K, held in conjunction with the walk event. The run begins at 7 a.m.; registration is $20, plus an option $5 for a 5K t-shirt. For info: WalkNowForAutismSpeaks.org.